C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
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