So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
