PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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