Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
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