TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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