We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
