I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
