Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Randomize
