can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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