She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
