She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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