When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
