dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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