a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
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