i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
