Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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