Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
