She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Drake has all the answers
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
