Its about making memories worth repressing
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
