I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
