She's JV to your varsity
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
They took my balls.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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