I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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