so that wasnt chicken after all
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Randomize
