The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
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