Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
