whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
