i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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