End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
