Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
