he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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