I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
