Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
