I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
