Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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