after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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