I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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