LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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