i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Randomize
