a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
