Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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