Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize