U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Someone shit on the floor
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I understand Curling. That high.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Randomize
