now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
