just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
