does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Enjoy the penises
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
