Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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