Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
