idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
