"it" just moved
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
