I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
