He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
she pinky promised me she was 18
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
