Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
