Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
