I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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